the glass you left.

impression smudged, like
your fingerprints on the glass,
long after you left,
I kept it there, on the table,
and I would think of you
in my home, as if you belonged.

it seems as though the air is
pervaded by this image of you,
like the scent clinging to the
shirt you wore that day,
as i wound around the fact that
I had to twist out the words to
say good bye to you.

and maybe in time,
i will find that the quality of your
being, carried in the air on molecules
too small to be seen, this
delicate fragrance of your spirit
it too will fade, like well washed jeans.
like the haziest of memories.

yes, the influence of you will be
washed away by hands and soaps
and the glass will be put away
and soon, I will no longer be able to recollect
which one it was, (for they all look the same now)
that you used the day you left.

when i find i am sad.

mostly when i find i am sad
there is a moment to be had when
the rains lay mist upon my cheek
lingering like soft soleil light

then, i purse my bitten lips,
curve skinny arms around slender hips
hold the pieces of me together
until, at last, i lose the fight.

the days grow long, as shadows stretch
taste the salt as my breath does catch
and watch the sun set behind closed eyes
as i feel my soul clench, unclench.

cherry trees.

and maybe we would have been good for each other
had we waited to grow into our own bones
like a tree grows into its leaves
but darling, you would never believe
that we met a little too early, when we were still kids
minds like empty containers without lids
running around, looking around for the person
we thought we were.

i thought we could grow together,
holding hands if we need each other,
like two blooming cherry trees in the field.
but neither of us could hold on and yield
and like the river curves away from the mountains
we moved in our own undulations
pulled further and further out to sea
without reaching out to where the other might be.

it saddens me to think of us like lonely
pieces of driftwood, and so instead i'd think
if i were a lighthouse, I would call you back home,
take my bulb and let it shone.
but I am not yet rooted in the earthy ground,
and so i let you go without much of a sound.
maybe when we're taller and wiser
poured into this mold we made for ourselves
maybe then we'll still fit like we did back then,
holding hands like cherry trees
all tangled up in each other's leaves.

if you knew.

I wish you could love me the way i need you to
Know when I'm feeling so very alone
and just understand,
hold my face in your hands,
soft skin against your palms,
look in my eyes and know.

that i need you to kiss me real slow,
like you love me so very much
like you need me to touch
like all you want is me.

i wish you knew.
i wish you thought of me
instead of only you.